Batman Ninja “Review”

*Spoilers Ahead*

Batman Ninja sucks. I wasted $4 to rent this pile of crap and sadly VUDU doesn’t issue refunds.

So, what’s the premise? Gorilla Grodd makes a time travel machine (“because he can”) Batman gets in the way and a handful of villains and heroes get sent back to feudal Japan. Since Batman didn’t get sucked in immediately he shows up two years later than everyone else, which allowed everyone to make giant robot houses.

Also, all the villains managed to take over parts of this Japan so they all have warring nations with one another.

Of course Joker is top dog because he always is, all the other villains (Penguin, Poison Ivy, Deathstroke, Two Face) get about 5 minutes total of screen time, and how easily they are dispensed I don’t see how they managed to take over any feudal state.

Also, a stupid prophecy said Batman was coming to help. Then Batman goes on a journey to realize he’s more than his gadgets and technology and embraces the culture to become a god samurai ninja or something stupid like that.

Eventually a million monkeys and a million bats somehow manage to make a giant Batman to fight a giant robot and then a sword fight between Joker and Bats ends the film before they all go home.

The animation is bad in this movie, sometimes it comes off smooth, then it goes to what looks like 5 frames per second and it’s jarring. There’s also an attempt at a different art style halfway through that’s supposed to be watercolor but just looks like they didn’t finish the film.

I would praise the movie for doing something different, but being different for the sake of different is bad. The story of the movie is just stupid and it’s so rushed (85 minute runtime) nobody has any character development. Hell, most have no character at all. 

If you want to waste some money, find a cheap indie game or rent a better Batman movie, or even a better anime. 

It’s just dumb.

I'm not here to be your puppet.

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